From this point on in my life nothing is ever going to be the same. Nothing can ever be the same. I don't want anything to ever be the same... It's been 20 days since the passing of my beautiful boyfriend Matthew Scott Eugene Trabert. I've never been known for staying on path, yet I've never been so off course. Matt was a friend to all and I can honestly say I never knew just how many lives he impacted until the day of his service. I still see Matt in all of his best friends and through this process I am now thankful and blessed to call them my best friends as well. There isn't a single day that passes where I don't think about that day. Sitting out at pyramid for two hours by myself was not as traumatizing as most think. For the first time in my life I felt completely broken and fearless at the same time. When the one thing in your life you fear the most happens, you hit rock bottom. At least rock bottom is a good solid ground and I know I am not down here alone. The small fears I once possessed are no longer a part of me. All fear now is not living my life to the fullest each and every day. My Matty taught me how to live life and how to enjoy the little things. He brought so many smiles and laughs into my world that it's hard to look back and cry when I have so much to be happy about. This is the first of many blogs, like I've said before... but this time I plan on following through.
No comments:
Post a Comment